A few good laughs
1. I drink to make other people interesting."
-George Jean Nathan
2. Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.
Lady Astor: Sir, you are drunk.
Churchill: Yes madam, and you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober
3. Told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
4. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
5. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
6. Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
7. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
8. Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
9. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average...